I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
