I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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