But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
