Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
