my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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