why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
