its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
