there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
