my vag is so smooth its legendary
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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