What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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