Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
