You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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