One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
