What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
