I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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