i will never coherently bang her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize