Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
