no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
