my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize