I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
