I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
