note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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