piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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