youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
