Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
