she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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