I need help removing her.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
