I'd wear matching sweaters with you
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
