U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
