I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Randomize
