You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
