Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it glows. i had to have it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
