Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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