Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
