tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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