There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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