Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
