the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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