The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize