Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
