I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
