ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
