You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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