Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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