when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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