I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
