K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize