Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Less talking, more tequila
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
