she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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