You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
