Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wear drunk well.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
