Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's blow job season.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
