I just threw up on my dentist
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
