I've blown a few things in my day
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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