i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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